Ontmotbell is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic chinchilla.

Ontmotbell created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontmotbell, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ontmotbell, she will refuse to believe in you.

Ontmotbell's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Ontmotbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never hurt manatees.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to porpoises while wearing red shoes.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.