Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking chicken.

Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven created the world five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven, he will ignore you.

Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven's Holy Commandments

1. Put Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven first in all things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Veenzimpang Mabxenfatcabjadvonven on top of all buildings.