Tifnurved is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable newt.

Tifnurved created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifnurved, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tifnurved, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tifnurved's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tifnurved's Holy Commandments

1. Tifnurved must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.