San is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic deer.

San created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in San, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in San, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

San's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

San's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of San in the centre of the settlement.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.