Dubmanzantof is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, kind jaguar.

Dubmanzantof created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dubmanzantof, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dubmanzantof, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dubmanzantof's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Dubmanzantof's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not hurt hamsters.

3. Hide from pink porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat limes.