Lakgofwat is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, caring goblin.

Lakgofwat created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakgofwat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lakgofwat, it will turn you into a frog.

Lakgofwat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lakgofwat's Holy Commandments

1. Lakgofwat loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed melons to snakes while wearing gray shirts.

5. You must pray to Lakgofwat nine times a day.