Vognarjap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sapient mink.

Vognarjap created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vognarjap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vognarjap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vognarjap's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vognarjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Retreat if nine swans approach from the west.