Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing unicorn.

Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dudbellcum Rulstermiskarnan on top of all buildings.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.