Arpmabnell is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient otter.

Arpmabnell created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpmabnell, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arpmabnell, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Arpmabnell's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Arpmabnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Run away from yellow grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpmabnell.

5. Never mention tapirs.