Hengumdon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, slow gorilla.

Hengumdon created the planet Venus seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hengumdon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Hengumdon, he will turn you into a worm.

Hengumdon's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hengumdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hengumdon.