Capcanlig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous porpoise.

Capcanlig created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Capcanlig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Capcanlig, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Capcanlig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Capcanlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never wear gray dresses.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.