Bep is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking shrew.

Bep created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Bep, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bep, it will send you a sign.

Bep's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look after injured ducks.