Kanontcan Gebfon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, selfish snake.

Kanontcan Gebfon created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanontcan Gebfon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kanontcan Gebfon, he will destroy your favourite star.

Kanontcan Gebfon's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kanontcan Gebfon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Kanontcan Gebfon in the centre of the settlement.