Queegflatbus Gesshitkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish snail.

Queegflatbus Gesshitkon created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegflatbus Gesshitkon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Queegflatbus Gesshitkon, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Queegflatbus Gesshitkon's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Queegflatbus Gesshitkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.