Apponont is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic crab.

Apponont created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Apponont, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Apponont, it will cry a lot.

Apponont's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Apponont's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never paint your face magenta.

3. Apponont loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Never chant in the presence of porpoises.

5. Learn three new languages a year.