Pagwatcib is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, compassionate shrew.

Pagwatcib created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Pagwatcib, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pagwatcib, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pagwatcib's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Pagwatcib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pagwatcib.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never wear orange stockings.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Pagwatcib in the centre of the settlement.