Vilcancem is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, dishonest mongoose.

Vilcancem created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilcancem, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vilcancem, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vilcancem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vilcancem's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.