Farlabsand is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast crab.

Farlabsand created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Farlabsand, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Farlabsand, he will turn you into a slug.

Farlabsand's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Farlabsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.