Yartkanboss is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, intelligent shark.

Yartkanboss created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yartkanboss, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yartkanboss, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yartkanboss' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yartkanboss' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartkanboss.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never talk about planets.