Jamkimcap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful spider.

Jamkimcap created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jamkimcap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jamkimcap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jamkimcap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Jamkimcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt cats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never sprint near whales.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed lots of bananas to voles while wearing magenta scarves.