Nattailfed is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent goblin.

Nattailfed created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nattailfed, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nattailfed, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nattailfed's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nattailfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nattailfed.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.