Jamgunfab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless parrot.

Jamgunfab created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamgunfab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jamgunfab, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jamgunfab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jamgunfab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Jamgunfab loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Jamgunfab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear pink coats.