Ponfod is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy duck.

Ponfod created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponfod, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ponfod, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ponfod's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ponfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. You must pray to Ponfod nine times a day.

4. Do not keep seven hamsters in a large pit.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.