Fedkomhin is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unselfish spider.

Fedkomhin created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fedkomhin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fedkomhin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Fedkomhin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fedkomhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect eight lead sculptures of Fedkomhin on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Never write about moons.