Bed Hubtim is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited porpoise.

Bed Hubtim created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bed Hubtim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bed Hubtim, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Bed Hubtim's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bed Hubtim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not hurt goats.