Miskonstig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional whale.

Miskonstig created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Miskonstig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Miskonstig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Miskonstig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Miskonstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. You must love Miskonstig.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.