Bossmitren is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, sapient bird.

Bossmitren created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossmitren, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bossmitren, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bossmitren's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bossmitren's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Bossmitren loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.