Bonkgovlop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful rhinoceros.

Bonkgovlop created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkgovlop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonkgovlop, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bonkgovlop's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bonkgovlop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Run away from black snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.