Fitgabnil is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident faun.

Fitgabnil created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitgabnil, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fitgabnil, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fitgabnil's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fitgabnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Fitgabnil must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Fitgabnil in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.