Tif Ganmitfon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-assured squid.

Tif Ganmitfon created the Sol system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tif Ganmitfon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tif Ganmitfon, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tif Ganmitfon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tif Ganmitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Always obey Tif Ganmitfon's priests.

4. Tif Ganmitfon loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.