Dapstragbissmab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish sheep.

Dapstragbissmab created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapstragbissmab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dapstragbissmab, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapstragbissmab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dapstragbissmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Put Dapstragbissmab first in all things.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to tortoises while wearing gray tights.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.