Dogladdim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent seal.

Dogladdim created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogladdim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dogladdim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dogladdim's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dogladdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of swans.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Put Dogladdim first in all things.