Padfidstervid is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witless fairy.

Padfidstervid created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Padfidstervid, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Padfidstervid, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Padfidstervid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Padfidstervid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Padfidstervid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Padfidstervid.