Dogranfutfid is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, ill-tempered hippopotamus.

Dogranfutfid created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogranfutfid, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dogranfutfid, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dogranfutfid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Dogranfutfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck fawn.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Dogranfutfid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not make images of living things.