Lidkartif is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, happy hedgehog.

Lidkartif created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidkartif, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lidkartif, he will boil you in a big pot.

Lidkartif's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Lidkartif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Never feed gooseberries to eagles while wearing jumpers.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about amino acids.