Larpkimnibpitnel is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful crocodile.

Larpkimnibpitnel created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larpkimnibpitnel, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larpkimnibpitnel, he will ignore you.

Larpkimnibpitnel's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Larpkimnibpitnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.