Hakhonbim is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing alligator.

Hakhonbim created the Black Eye Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakhonbim, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hakhonbim, it will turn you into a goat.

Hakhonbim's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hakhonbim's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hakhonbim eight times a day.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never feed turnips to ducks while wearing purple coats.