Kimfotpib is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent raccoon.

Kimfotpib created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimfotpib, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kimfotpib, it will remove you from existence.

Kimfotpib's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Kimfotpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snails.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about special relativity near badgers while wearing violet stockings and balancing eight silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.