Hassagsaw Misapprat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, humorless newt.

Hassagsaw Misapprat created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hassagsaw Misapprat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hassagsaw Misapprat, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hassagsaw Misapprat's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hassagsaw Misapprat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near seals while wearing red tights and balancing four tin spheres on your chest.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.