Spagflandam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, narcissistic penguin.

Spagflandam created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagflandam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Spagflandam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Spagflandam's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Spagflandam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Spagflandam's name in vain.

2. Hide if nine shrews approach from the south.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.