Bifmutflig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, tranquil mole.

Bifmutflig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifmutflig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bifmutflig, it will cry a lot.

Bifmutflig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bifmutflig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifmutflig.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.