Jongupwik is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident gerbil.

Jongupwik created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jongupwik, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jongupwik, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jongupwik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jongupwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Hide if three gulls approach from the north.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.