Beddadlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional snail.

Beddadlarp created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beddadlarp, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Beddadlarp, he will turn you into a rat.

Beddadlarp's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Beddadlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never leap in the presence of goats.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.