Jadquaffob Baftettiwee is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, temperamental hare.

Jadquaffob Baftettiwee created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadquaffob Baftettiwee, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jadquaffob Baftettiwee, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jadquaffob Baftettiwee's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jadquaffob Baftettiwee's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Put Jadquaffob Baftettiwee first in all things.

4. Worship no other gods but Jadquaffob Baftettiwee.

5. Never mention mites.