Omtsomflis is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent manatee.

Omtsomflis created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtsomflis, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Omtsomflis, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Omtsomflis' most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Omtsomflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Run away if three cats approach from the south.