Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sapient bear.

Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad, she will turn you into a worm.

Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hanflatced Hugwigjig Venlaghiglad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near snails while wearing gray trousers and balancing six aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always look after injured moths.

5. Do not eat lentils.