Tunvollig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish weasel.

Tunvollig created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunvollig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunvollig, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tunvollig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tunvollig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tunvollig on top of all buildings.