Larp is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy pigeon.

Larp created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larp, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larp, she will throw large rocks at you.

Larp's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Larp's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Larp.

3. You must love Larp.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Larp on top of all buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.