Batqueegfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless squid.

Batqueegfeb created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batqueegfeb, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Batqueegfeb, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Batqueegfeb's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Batqueegfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six mice approach from the west.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. You must love Batqueegfeb.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never hurt badgers.