Gutfobbog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane weasel.

Gutfobbog created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfobbog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutfobbog, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gutfobbog's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gutfobbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never paint your feet magenta.

5. Do not keep eight goats in a large pit.